In all honesty at the moment I am struggling and really hate to admit that to myself, let alone anyone else. It feels as though I am finally getting on top of one issue and then bam, 3 others hit me. I guess that is the problem of having a condition that just happens to affect pretty much every inch of your body. It’s very rare that I get angry but today I have found myself getting more and more frustrated with this debilitating condition. All I want is to be “normal”. I just want to be able to go to work and have a routine, I want to make arrangements without having to cancel last minute due to my ill health, eat a meal without feeling incredibly poorly afterwards, have a family without the fear of pregnancy complications and passing this on to my children and have a “normal” life which may seem pretty mundane and boring but that’s all I want. I want to have a purpose.
On the other hand, I thank this awful condition as it has made me a stronger person. It really puts into perspective what is important in life. I used to be a real drama llama and the slightest thing would be a catastrophe and now I just look back and laugh at how stupid I was. I have also met some amazing people through this illness and I am so grateful that our paths crossed.
People ask “How do you do it?” and say I am inspirational but I’m really not, I am just dealing with the hand that I was dealt. Giving up is not an option. Pain is real, but so is HOPE!